


The naughty list

by estranged_and_wayward



Series: throbb xmas 2019 [4]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: 'that's were the snacks belong', 'why are you sitting on the counter?', Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Car Sex, Card Games, Christmas, Co-workers, Dirty Talk, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Smut, Spanking, Traditions, bonding over shared hatred of your job, christmas poker, sharing traditions, this got much dirtier than expected
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:47:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21863980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estranged_and_wayward/pseuds/estranged_and_wayward
Summary: Working on Christmas eve sucks, but the right coworker can make it suck less.
Relationships: Theon Greyjoy/Robb Stark
Series: throbb xmas 2019 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1568641
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38
Collections: A Very Throbb Christmas





	The naughty list

**Author's Note:**

> Throbbmas day 4! Woah, merry Christmas to those who celebrate. prompt: cultural touchstone  
> I followed this prompt very loosely if at all, I couldn't think of what to write so I hope it counts.

The store was almost empty but Robb couldn't leave. It was half-past six and any customers that might have been wondering about had left about an hour ago. Probably off to spend Christmas Eve with their families or something else Robb wished he was doing. Working on Christmas eve sucked, even if there were no customers except a little old lady that had been looking through the greeting cards for almost 45 minutes. Though she came in and did that every day so it was nothing special.

Robb sat behind the counter watched her for lack of anything better to do. She was meticulously browsing the six-year-old birthday section, flipping through each card and not skipping over a single word. It was probably just about the most boring thing he'd ever seen, yet he was watching like a hawk in heat. Like he'd expected to catch her shoplifting or expected her to grow a second head or something. 

"Oh shit she might like the purple one" a voice beside his whispered. Robb glanced to the other side of the counter where his coworker Theon stood rearranging a shelf of candy that didn't require fixing. "Oh no wait, the yellow one" Theon corrected himself as the old woman moved to inspect a different card. 

Robb couldn't help but crack a smile at the commentary. "I'll bet she takes the blue one right there." He said, both of them locking eyes on a blue birthday card with a puppy on it. 

"I'll take that bet and say she takes the green one." Theon pointed to a card decorated to look like a tree with a tangle of monkeys climbing around it. 

"Sounds like a fair deal" 

They shook on it and continued watching the woman for what felt like forever until she left, not a single card purchased. They both smiled politely at her on the way out. 

"Happy holidays ma'am," Robb told her. That along with 'have a nice day' and 'would you like your recite in the bag?' had been so ingrained into him that it was second nature only to breathing to say them. 

"Thank you, deary, you too," the old woman told him with a wrinkled smile. 

After she left the store was once again empty except for the two of them. Theon sighed heavily and leaned against the counter across from Robb, running a hand through his shaggy black hair. "Looks like we both lose Stark," he said. 

"Figures" Robb sighed, opening the register and boredly counting the money for about the third time that day. Slow didn't even begin to describe it. 

Theon pushed himself up to sit on the counter. "You know, it wouldn't be too bad to work on Christmas eve if there were anything to do." 

"You read my mind" Robb agreed, not looking up as he sorted through a small stack of five-pound notes. There were just the same as he'd counted them an hour ago. 

"You'd think it'd be better without customers but really it's just drag your balls through glass boring." Robb glanced up at Theon, he was only able to see his back and the side of his face but it was a nice view. He let out a chuckle and gave Theon's back a confused look. 

"That's one way of putting it." He said, shuffling the notes into a perfect stack before placing them back where they'd been in the register. 

Theon half spun around to face him, bending his knee to place one foot on the counter. Robb imagined the horrified look on their manager, Cersei's face if he'd seen him sitting like that. "What? Never heard that one before Stark?" He teased.

Robb leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms "Nope, can't say that I have." 

Theon smirked, "Well what can I say, I'm a visionary." He said before adding "a poet if you will." 

Robb scoffed "You're a lot of things Greyjoy but a poet is not one of them." 

"Oh really?" Theon crossed his arms "And why's that Wordsworth?" 

"Hey, I never said that  _ I _ was a poet. I just said that you aren't." He corrected. 

Theon snorted and took out a deck of cards from his pocket “And what if I was huh?” he shuffling them “I’m not any fuckin’ poet but I’ll bet I could be if I wanted to.” he spun around to face Robb on the counter and began dealing out the cards “Can’t be that hard to throw together some fancy words on a page.” 

Robb just rolled his eyes, deciding not to admit to the period of his teenage years in which he wrote atrociously terrible poems after his first girlfriend dumped him. Some things were best left in the past, and that was one of them. 

They played a quick game of poker, then blackjack, and then a game of war that managed to kill an entire hour on its own from how long it dragged on. 

“Wanna play go fish?” Robb asked after the war was done and he had lost. They had killed almost two hours with those games, but there were still another hour and a half until the store closed. There hadn’t been a single customer during that time, it seemed that everyone was at home. 

Theon stretched from his place on the counter, yawning like a lion. “Sure,” he said, bridging the cards on the counter. Sitting criss-cross on the counter for so long couldn’t have been comfortable but he made do. “So tell me Stark, what would you be doing if you weren’t stuck at work playing cards with me?” 

Robb picked up his cards and studied them "I think my family is having dinner right now, but they might have finished already. Then my mum's gonna force all of them to go to mass with her, but that's not till later" He said followed by "got any fours?" 

"No, go fish. You got a lot of siblings right?" Theon replied. "Got any fives?" 

Robb handed him his five of diamonds "Yeah, five of them. I'm the oldest. Got any sevens?" 

"I've got three. I'm the youngest." Theon handed him a seven of clubs "any eights?" 

"What's that like, being the youngest? Go fish." Robb put his feet up on a shelf under the counter. 

"Kinda sucks, you get bossed around a lot. But that might just because my brothers are assholes." He drew from the pile. 

"From what you've told me that makes sense," Robb said. He didn't know Theon extremely well as he once had, they'd been friends in primary school, but from what he did know and what he could remember his brothers were indeed assholes. "Got any aces?" 

Theon sighed and handed him his ace of hearts "any queens?" 

"Nope, go fish," Robb said, "So what would you be doing if you weren't stuck at work playing cards with me?" Before adding a quick "got any kings?" 

Theon slid two faces across the counter "Probably playing cards with my sister.” he replied “We used to do stuff on Christmas, not so much anymore.” his tone was nonchalant but when Robb looked up he could see a twinge of pain in his eyes. 

“That suck, it must be nice to just relax though.” Robb tried to sound sympathetic without pity because if there was one thing he remembered about Theon it was that he hated whenever people looked down on him. That was why he held his head so high, that way everyone had to look up at him. 

“It is. We just hang out, play poker and get shitfaced.” he shifted his deck of cards to be in his right hand “Sometimes we watch Die Hard and smoke a bunch of weed. It’s nice.” 

“Why Die Hard?” Robb asked.

“Because it’s our favorite Christmas movie, duh” 

“How is that a Christmas movie?”

“It takes place on Christmas” 

“That does not make it a Christmas movie!” 

“Yes, it does.”

“No, it doesn’t”

“Yes it does” 

“No, it doesn’t”

“Motherfuckerwho’swrongsayswhat?” Theon blurted out at the speed of light.

Robb scoffed “Really? You thought that was going to get me? Nice try Greyjoy but I’ve got five siblings, I know all your tricks.

Theon just rolled his eyes “Yeah, nothing gets past you.” his tone was almost painfully sarcastic. He stretched his long legs out in front of, letting them dangle off the counter again, just in the opposite direction, this time facing his coworker.

Robb tried to pretend he wasn’t imagining the things he was imagining. “Shit do you remember who’s turn it was?” he asked, remembering that they had been playing a game. 

The look that spread across Theon's face made him look almost like Karen smith from Mean girls from thinking so hard before he let a “Fuck” of concentration pass through his lips “I have no fucking idea” he confessed. 

Robb rested his elbow on the counter beside Theon’s knee “Well do you wanna keep playing?” 

“Not particularly” Theon replied. He dropped his cards into the rest of the pile and cracked his back. “Times it?” he asked with a yawn. 

Robb looked at the clock “9:15” he replied, “So we’ve got like forty-five minutes.” Ten o’clock could not come soon enough. Robb wanted to go home, even if it meant that he would have to go to midnight mass later that night. He wanted to be with his family and just relax for a little while. Although Theon was good company, he was even more eager than Robb to get out of there.

“Do you wanna start cleaning up now? Just to have something to do” The raven-haired man asked. 

There was hardly anything to clean but they did anyway, searching with meticulous scrutiny for anything at all to do. It only took about ten minutes for them to be bored again. Theon let out a loud groan and slumped against the front counter. He took a look at the clock. “How’s that thing moving so slow?” 

“No idea,” Robb said as he tapped his watch. They had 15 minutes before they could leave. “Do you wanna play another game?” he asked. 

Theon glanced up at him before replying “sure” with all the enthusiasm of a sedated sloth. “No card games though” 

“That’s fine with me, I just want something to do” Robb nodded.

A small smirk spread across Theon's face "let's play a game then" he said "close your eyes" Robb must have looked at him funny "you've got to close your eyes or else the game won't work." Robb obeyed, allowing his eyes to fall shut.

"Alright, now what?" He asked, feeling a little stupid standing there.

"Just hold still" he heard him say. He heard Theon's footsteps coming closer. "Eyes closed" he reminded him. Then when he was close enough that Robb could feel the heat radiating off his body it was quiet for a minute. He was about to open his eyes but before he knew it there was a pair of lips on his. Theon's lips were soft and warm and it didn't take long for Robb to start kissing back. He reached a hand up to cup his face as he felt himself being backed up until they slammed into a shelf. 

Holy shit this was so wrong, but Robb wouldn't have stopped if Santa Claus himself were watching. This was good, too good. He felt something hard pressing against his thigh and began lightly grinding against it. He felt Theon moan into his mouth before a tongue moved over his bottom lip. He granted the access he so craved and gasped.  _ Fuck _ he pressed himself against Theon's thigh, feeling all the blood rushing down south.

He grabbed onto Theon's shirt and began pushing him backward, tasting his tongue all the while, until he had him pressed up against the counter. He squeezed his arse and hoisted him up onto the counter, sucking at his neck.

Theon held him closer, tilting his head back to leave more of his neck open. "Fuck" he hooked his legs around Robb, kicking their cocks together "I didn't know you had it in you Stark" his voice was husky and breathless. 

Robb pulled off his neck, in truth he didn't know where it'd come from either. "I've got a lot more than that in me" he found himself saying. Then they were kissing again. 

"I've got some lube in my car," Theon told him and Robb felt the heat rising up his neck. That might have been a little too far. 

"Let's lock-up" was all he said in reply. 

Theon hopped down off the counter and they shared another kiss before pulling away to finished the last duties of the night. They clocked out at exactly ten o'clock and Theon raced him across the parking lot to his car. There was hardly a person or vehicle in sight so he pressed Robb up against the door and kissed him ferociously once again. 

Robb found himself reaching for Theon's belt buckle, fumbling with the clasp of the metal. 

Theon gave his arse a squeeze "eager are we?" He teased. 

Robb had left all pride at the register "just open the door and fuck me" he told him. He was always such a good boy, he deserved this. 

"Whatever you say Stark," Theon smirked and opened the back door. He pushed Robb backward until he fell across the back seat. Robb laid there, panting and hard as he looked up at Theon what must have been his most intense 'fuck me' eyes. "Hang there for a sec," Theon told him once he was able to tear his gaze away. He opened the passenger side door and shuffled around in the glove compartment. Robb watched him with hunger. After he found what he was looking for it was a matter of seconds before he was on top of Robb in the back of the car. 

Robb gripped onto Theon's arse hard enough to leave bruises, massaging at the muscle through denim while they kissed before sliding his hand beneath the trousers. Theon made a little sound that seemed to say that he liked it so Robb squeezed his arse harder. 

"Fuck" Theon cursed and sat up over Robb's thighs, straddling him. There was barely enough room but they could make do. He unbuttoned Robb's jeans "We've got to get these off of you." He said and pulled them down along with his pants. 

Robb let out a heavy breath, feeling completely exposed in the best way possible. 

Theon smirked down at him and wrapped a hand around his cock. "Now, do you wanna go it like this where we can pretend that we're not in a bloody carpark or do you wanna bend over for me and take it from behind?"  _ Holy shit _ there was something in his voice that drove Robb absolutely wild. 

"From behind" he found himself answering. Theon pulled him up by the shirt into a steamy kiss, still straddling his thighs. Robb found himself being spun around and theon kissed at the back of his neck, sucking almost tenderly at the skin. He could feel the hardness of Theon’s cock through his trousers pressed up against the small of his back. He pushed back against it and heard him gasp. 

“Fuck” theon cursed again and began pushing Robb to bend over. Now on his hands and knees, Robb felt a slick finger between his cheeks, circling his entrance. 

“Oh, you fucking tease!” Robb cried, pushing himself back against the finger. Theon chuckled and slid it inside, giving him a little smack on the rear. Robb let out a hoarse moan. 

“Like that?” Theon asked as he pushed the digit in deeper. Robb could only nod frantically as another slap came down on his arse, harder this time as the second finger was pushed inside him. Theon leaned down to his each, curling his fingers ever so slightly. “Good boy likes that, doesn’t he? Want to be red for days huh?”

“Fuck yes” Robb gasped as Theon’s fingers pressed up against his sweet spot. God, he wanted to be sitting at midnight mass later with his arse flaming thinking about this. Theon smacked him again. 

Theon smacked him a couple more times and Robb could feel his cock dripping precome onto the seat. “Alright, enough of this I need to fuck you.” Robb moaned in reply and heard Theon unbuckling his belt and tearing open a condom. He pulled his fingers out and gave him one more smack, this one the hardest of all. 

Robb felt the pain rush straight to his cock and he nearly screamed. It there was anyone else in the parking lot they would have known exactly what was going on. But Robb couldn’t be bothered to worry about that now, not with Theon grasping at his hips. He could feel him rubbing his cock against his arse, he could only imagine how red it must have been. “Jesus Christ! will you just do it!” he begged.

“That’s what I like to hear!” Theon said as he spread Robb’s cheeks apart and thrust inside him. 

Robb tossed his head back, trying to keep himself relaxed as Theon’s cock split him open. Once he was all the way in Theon gave a small, almost teasing jerk of his hips. He gaged Robb’s reaction before giving another, harder this time. Robb moaned and pushed back against him. 

Theon held his hips in place and slammed against him, hardly noticing when he hit his head on the roof of the car. Robb let out a shriek as Theon’s cock hit against his prostate. He felt pleasure coming over him in waves. It felt so good that he couldn’t speak, couldn’t think. All he could do was clench around Theon and moan.

“Fuck!” Theon groaned as he tried to keep his thrusts steady. Robb could feel his balls slapping against his arse but it was just another note in the cocktail of noises flooding the car. The slapping, the creaking seat, Theon's heavy breaths and curses along with his own moans filled his senses and he forgot about everything that could have been outside the car. None of that mattered, not with Theon inside him. 

Just when he thought it couldn't get any better Theon smacked his arse again, sending his head flying backward as he let out a scream, coming harder than he had in his entire life. He heard Theon let out a sharp moan above him, the movement of his hips going sloppy. 

For a moment they just sat there, trying to catch their breath before Theon pulled out. Robb half expected to feel his seed running down the backs of his thighs before he remembered the condom. He flipped over onto his back, not caring that he was lying in his own come, looking up at Theon as he rested his cheek against the back of the seat. He winced at the stinging in his arse and Theon let out a small chuckle. 

"Sorry about that, I might have gotten a little carried away there." He said. 

Robb just shook his head "Nah it's fine, you're stronger than you look." Theon's eyes shone like two black diamonds. 

"You're kinkier than you look" he rested his elbow against Robb's bent knee. 

Robb couldn't help but redden, suddenly glad for the darkness of the car park. Rather than falling into their usual smirk, Theon's lips turned upward in a true smile, his eyes narrowing in a way that only caused Robb's face to grow hotter. "You're cute when you blush," he said in a way that was almost innocent. "You turn red so easily with that ginger skin. It's like you're made for it." 

Robb bit his lip, feeling Theon's gaze watching him "You're cute when you smile." Now it was Theon's turn to blush, his eyes dilating at the unexpected comment. 

"Just get up here and kiss me" 

Robb sat up to meet his request and they stayed like that, kissing in the back seat of the car until Robb heard his phone ringing. 

"Shit" he said as he pulled away, taking a glance at his watch. "That's probably my mother." 

Theon sighed but reached down to where Robb's jeans lie on the floor and handed him his phone. 

'Thank you' he mouthed as he answered. 

While he talked to his mother Theon cleaned himself up, readjusting his trousers and tossing out the condom. "So," he said after Robb hung up "guess that our night is over." 

Robb frowned, feeling the loneliness in Theon's voice. "No wait" he placed a hand on his forearm, stroking it gently. "You could come with me if you want." Theon looked at him in pure shock "I mean if you want to. Its catholic mass, I'm not sure if you're religious but I'm sure my mum wouldn't mind if you came along." 

"We just fucked in the back of a car on Christmas Eve and now you wanna take me to church?" When he said it like that it did sound a little crazy. 

"I just thought that maybe you could spend the night afterward." He admitted sheepishly. "I'm not really into the whole church thing but you might make sitting through it a little more bearable." 

Theon looked at him in amazement then smiled again. "Alright Stark, I'll go to you're church thing," he said, "but only if you play cards with my sister and me tomorrow, she'll be mad that I blew her off tonight." 

Robb grinned from ear to ear "I can do that" he said and pulled Theon into another kiss, this one somehow sweeter than the last. 


End file.
